Why the Art of Slow Grieving?
There is this pressure on us to rush through the grieving process, to hide our emotions, and to quickly fix our broken hearts. The Art of Slow Grieving invites us to slow down; to explore our emotions fully, and to not be tempted to quick fix someone else’s grief or to deny someone the right to grief.
Pregnancy loss and stillbirth are often taboo subjects in our society. In general, we shy away from talking openly about death and loss. There seems to always be an awkward silence when someone mentions loss, bereavement and grief. Women and their partners can feel alone after loosing a baby and are often denied the right to mourn. We have imposed upon ourselves invisible, unspoken, and yet powerful rules which hinder us when we are faced with death, loss and grief.
In the Sacred Loss circle, we embrace all types of loss from very early gestation to infant loss. In the medical world, loss tends to be classified into various types. Up to 12 weeks gestation, it is considered early pregnancy loss, from 13 weeks to 21 weeks it is referred to as late miscarriage and after 22 weeks it is considered stillbirth. These medical classifications can vary depending on where you live.
However, here we will not dwell in the medical definitions. Instead, we honour any form of loss as a significant loss regardless of gestational age. A life is a life no matter how small. Every loss is a significant loss.
“Miscarriages are labor, miscarriages are birth.
To consider them less dishonours the woman whose womb has held life, however briefly.”
Kathryn Miller Ridiman
At the heart of Sacred Loss is a sacred space to mourn and explore grief and healing without judgement and without the need to quick fix. When we enter this Sacred Space we must enter with great reverence and boundless love, compassion and empathy.
Sacred Loss is about stopping and taking the time to attend to our emotions, our thoughts, our physical, mental and spiritual needs and breathe…..
Unfortunately, in the current environment we live in, everything including grief has to be dealt with quickly. Then neatly filed away somewhere so that we can swiftly get back to normal; whatever we perceive normal to be. This fast paced society we live in makes incredible demands upon us at the detriment of our healing and long-term well-being. Regardless of the pressure from community, society or culture, a broken heart deserves better. We must slow down and attend to our fragmented hearts. We need to create the space in order for deep healing to happen and restore both body and mind as well as the soul.
In your mind, imagine a vast garden which needs meticulous effort in order for it to flourish and reveal its hidden beauty. Imagine you are this vast garden. This is what you are creating when you slow down, take a deep breath and grieve. You are attending with tender loving care to every corner of your emotions. Nothing is left untouched. You are taking care of your physical self and your spiritual self. It is in other words essential self care.
The pain, the deep sorrow and despair eventually make way for transformation. As we slow down to grieve fully, we unveil within the depth of our soul a new meaning to life, a revelation which otherwise would have remained unseen and untouched.
Grief will come and visit again and again. Grief will never go away because grief is intrinsic to love. However, over time, each visit will feel different to the last and less devastating perhaps.
Grief comes very often uninvited. It takes us by surprise with a shockingly fierce grip at the most unexpected moment; in the middle of the supermarket, on a train journey, as we sit down to have a meal….We desperately try to fight back the tears, breathe deeply, and put on a brave face. “Not now “ we whisper to our broken hearts…
What if we were to give ourselves the space to grieve... what then?
Grief needs time and space. As we give grief what it needs and as we give ourselves the space to mourn ; it eventually becomes less overwhelming.
To slow down and grieve means we give grief all the time it requires from us (the griever and the carer). We listen to grief and pay attention with every cell in our body and with every breath. We explore grief until every facet is familiar and every shadow aspect is exposed. Over time, Grief becomes an old friend who visits from time to time. Sometimes, grief stays for a few hours, sometimes a day or more but when it leaves there’s no devastation and deep fresh wounds anymore. Instead, there is a glimpse of faith, hope, and even a sense of lightness as we move steadily forward on our healing journey.
What I Offer
I offer an 8 week series holding space for your grief. We will explore topics such as EFT (Emotional Freedom Techniques), Aromatherapy, Herbal Remedies, Creative Projects, Ceremony, and Self Care Practices.
This group will be heavily focused on EFT Tapping, to help release what is no longer serving you. I will work with individuals one on one, while everyone else taps alongside us. You will receive benefits of the tapping, even as I work with someone else.
Book Your Free Discovery Session
If you want to learn more about working with me, even if you’re ready to jump right in, let’s start with a free discovery session. We will spend up to 30 minutes together, meeting online, going over what’s happening for you, and what you would like support with.